OUR NEWEST MEMBER OF OUR FAMILY!

Recently at our church we have been focusing on missions. This past Sunday they had a table set up with all these pictures and info on children in different countries that you could sponsor. I was so excited to pick out a child, but before I got to the table Todd had one already in his hand.

You see when I was a little girl I would save all my change that I would earn or find and then one day I gave it to my mom to ask her to buy the little girl on the TV that Sally Struthers was in the commercial with. I really wanted to adopt!

Well, adoption is not on Todd's heart so this is a way we can compromise. There is is a ministry called Compassion. You can select a child and for $38 a month you are supporting this child. What a great way to help children. You get to write to them and send pictures even cards for birthdays and they will write back to you.

Our child's name is Inoussa and he is 7 years old. His pictures are so sweet. I so wish I could bring him to our home. I know that our money each month may not be a large amount in the states, but it is providing him with many opportunities in his country.

We as a family are able to pray for him by name and look at his picture. We have an extension in our family and in our hearts. I feel I love this little boy and I haven't even met him. The best is that he will know that a family in America loves and cares for him, and sometimes that is all people need to survive.

One day we will meet him if not on this earth, and what a great reunion that will be!

CUTTING THE FAT!

So I have decided to cut the "fat" from my life. You say, what does that look like? Well, for starters, I took myself off of Facebook about 4 weeks ago. I felt it was such a time sucker in my life and then I would be so in to what everyone else was saying or doing that I was forgetting that I had a life that already had enough going on and I didn't need to add anymore emotion to it.

You see, I enjoy catching up with old friends or even friends that don't live close to me. I love seeing pictures of their families or places that they have visited, but it all just was not contributing to my family or my work. It was a plain waste of my time during the day!

I decided that I was going to use my time, you know the time that flies by each day, wisely! I have been feeling like I should give up Facebook for quite some time, but couldn't release it. Kinda of like when you know you need to work out, but you keep eating bad stuff anyways.

So, off with the "fat" in my life!

I do feel somewhat "out of the loop" but I am surviving.... here is what I have been doing without sitting in front of my laptop reading everyones status updates.

- All my laundry is caught up!

- My house has stayed clean or neat more!

- My day runs a lot smoother.

- I have had more time to spend talking to my children, imagine that!

- I have read more books.

- I have a quiet lunches with me and my thoughts and talking to God about my day!

The list goes on.......

I guess the point is that I was filling my time with unnecessary things and information in my life and I need to cut back. Sometimes, it's good to take a time out!

Another way, I am cutting "the fat" is just trying to pull back on activities that I or my children are involved in. I really feel we run all the time. Sometimes we literally walk in the door only to drop our things and pick up things for the next event. I really want to enjoy my kids because they are growing so fast, and running constantly is making time fly by way too quickly!

I am so bad at over committing me or my family to things, but I am learning as I am aging that I just can't keep up. I would love to do everything and have my kids doing all the sports and school activities, but now we are picking and choosing what is best for our family and learning that family time is most important!

I am looking forward to summer to have good quality family time with little running around and being on a schedule, oh I can't wait!

Maybe I can cut some "real fat" out of my life by taking lots more bike rides and family walks/runs.

GOD'S REASSURANCE TO ME!

Exactly one year ago I lost my dad unexpectedly. He was only 53 years old and I never intended for him to die when I dropped him off at the hospital the day before. You see the surgery was just to go in and clean up the infection that was still in his body from his first surgery 3 weeks prior. I could tell driving my dad over to the hospital that he was nervous, but he was not feeling well, and just wanted to feel better quickly. As I reassured him that he would be fine, I got him checked in and went home to take care of my children.

He went into surgery around 9 the next morning, as we waited and waited, a two hour surgery turned into a 7.5 hour surgery. When the doctor came out to tell me that my dad was not out of the woods and that he would have a long way to go. I cried and pleaded with God to not take my dad! I made many promises to the Lord, sort of like deals with God. As I called my brother to tell him to come down from PA, crying in the hospital waiting room. My brother said he was going to finish up work and leave. As I packed up my children at 7pm to go home for baths and bedtime, I was upset leaving my dad at the hospital. Around 9 I received a phone call from the nurse to tell me that my dad was doing well! My brother arrived at midnight. We went to bed exhausted!

Around 3 am my cell phone was ringing.....never a good sign! As I made my husband answer it, because I was too scared! He heard the news we were dreading...my dad had passed away. As I walked downstairs to where my brother lay asleep, I woke him up with the sad news.

We got dressed and went to the hospital to see my dad's body. That was a really hard thing to do, I felt like I was going to pass out as well as throw up all over the place. But when I walked into his room, there was a strange peace that hovered our room. It wasn't the way my dad looked because he really did not look that well, but it was a calming over my body.

Maybe I was in shock, or disbelief that just a few short hours earlier the nurse had phoned and said he was doing well.

As we planned for my dad's funeral, I was making decisions that I never thought I would be doing at 33. But I still felt the presences of the Lord with me and a calmness that I could muster up the courage to make those plans.

He's memorial service was held on May 1st, 2010.

Father's Day 2010 was a hard one for me. I cried all weekend! As I sat on my deck crying, this little tiny yellow butterfly landed on the arm of my chair. Now, if you know me, I do not like bugs of any kind. So instead of standing up and walking away, I just sat there and watched it. It stayed for about 5 minutes. So about a week later, as I was driving, I was crying again and came to a stop light, as I am sitting there waiting for the light to turn green a yellow butterfly flies across my windshield. I started seeing yellow butterflies every time I was upset that following month. When I went to visit my mother, she has a beautiful water fall in her backyard. As I was pointing out what flowers I loved that she planted around the waterfall, I noticed there was a yellow butterfly sitting on the flowers I was describing. So it hit me, I told my family that I think my dad came back as a yellow butterfly.........

Just kidding..... I do not believe in reincarnation. But what I was seeing was God reassuring me that I was going to be okay and that my dad was okay. That I needed to know that God was in total control of the situation and this was HIS plan for my dad's life. April 29, 2010 was my dad's day to come home to his final resting place with his heavenly father.

So, fast forward exactly 5 months, and I receive the news that my brother, who was 33, committed suicide. How I really questioned why? Domenic and I just buried our father and had to make all those difficult decisions and we were so very sad. I could not understand why he did this to me or to my mom. But what we did not understand was that he was very ill mentally and I believe my dad's death just really put him over the edge.

While we were at my brother's grave site for his funeral there was a yellow butterfly sitting on his casket the entire time of the funeral. Again, God telling me to trust Him, He was going to take care of me and pull me through this. As we were leaving the grave and driving away, there were two yellow butterflies that pass our windshield and with that I knew my brother had found peace!

This does not help make these loses any easier, it just gives me the reassurance that when I see a yellow butterfly that God is in control and He is just telling me to rely on Him for peace. You see God used something so small and tender and something that I do not like to be around, something I am scared of and run from to present Himself to me to let me know that He is present in my misery. So when I see a yellow butterfly now, I am reassured that my God loves me and is with me at all times, I just have to be still and notice His presence.

I really miss my dad and brother, I feel my family was cut in half, but I have learned from them and celebrate their lives for what they contributed to my life. My brother left behind a sweet little girl who I adore and my dad instilled in me a new way to look at those around me, instead of judging them for the looks or actions, rather see where I can help them or love them. For that I am grateful that I was part of their family!

Domenic A. Forlano, Sr. 1956-2010

Domenic A. Forlano, Jr. 1977 - 2010

"The Lord will watch over your coming and going both

now and forevermore"

Psalm 121:8

LEARNING TO ENJOY THE RIDE!

This past week we have had to leave our house and stay at a hotel, because our hot water heater flooded our laundry room and kitchen. I know what you are thinking, how lucky are you! But really after the second night, and waking up at 6 every morning to get children to school on time and sharing a square room with three other people, it's not as exciting anymore!

Remember when I started my blog, I stated that I really did not care for elevators, well, we are on the 6th floor, so guess who has to ride an elevator everyday, sometimes two and three times a day? Yes, I did not like my start of the week. After the second day, I have just had to suck it up!

You see, I have had to laugh once again at God's sense of humor. I stated that I was scared of elevators and part of this blog was that I was going to conquer my fears, well, I feel this week I have been made to conquer that fear!

You see, when I think about it sometimes I don't care for the "life ride" I am in or experiencing. But I know I am not in control of the situation or the problem I am facing, yet it is hard to see the outcome. I know God is the ultimate controller of my life and problems that I may be facing. He is driving "my ride" not me!

I may be pushing the buttons on "my ride" but He is the one that brings it to rest and works out the details! I love when He shows up in the big and small things in my life!

"But blessed is the man who trust me, God,

the woman who sticks with God."

Jeremiah 17:7 (message)

REALLY MISSING HIM!

Here, lately, I have been really missing my dad! I was driving this morning and had to go into his old neighborhood to drop something off to a friend who lived in his neighborhood and just started crying. Thinking of the last time I picked him up to drop him off at the hospital and him not wanting to back to the hospital, but knowing he had to go. As I picked him up he spilled his juice that he was having with his lunch and I cleaned it up and then grabbed his suitcase and took it to the car. Not knowing that our ride together would be the last!

My dad was always there for anyone who needed him! He LOVED people! No, he was not perfect and he messed up in life quite often, but he would get back up with a smile on his face. The best part about my dad is he NEVER judged anyone! He took people at face value and loved them in spite of their faults or differences. I have tried to adapt that to my life, not that I walk around judging those around me, but I may see someone who is different than me, and I have learned to embrace that, and get to know them for who they are.

As I heard the song playing the other night in a restaurant, I just started crying. You see my dad LOVED James Taylor! I grew up listening to every song out there by this artist. As a kid I hated it, but this song in particular seems to capture my dad's motto in life. Its funny and sad listening to it now, because I wish he was around to talk to or laugh with. He had a great sense of humor! (see the song below)

So, today at THRIVE (our church's bible study) I sat there listening to sweet Marji talk about how God allows us to go through things sometimes that we do not understand while we are going through it, HE is working through it and bringing us into HIS plan. You see, I do not understand why my dad and my brother had to die, but I know God is working in my life and drawing me closer and closer to HIM.



Oh would I wouldn't give to sit on my daddy's lap again or just pick up the phone and call him or have him over for dinner. But I know he is having the time of his life and God's plan for my life is still in full swing! So I will keep his memory alive by loving others and not being so quick to judge!

WEARING MY BIG GIRL PANTIES!

I first must say I took myself off of sugar starting Valentine's Day, not a smart time to do so, I might add. Well, the kids received their Valentine's package from Todd's grandmother. Inside the package was a little box of Russell Stover chocolates. They were staring at me ALL week!!!

So finally on Friday I treated myself to one chocolate with caramel inside! I figured I deserved it for my well behavior all week. So as I was eating this little treat I felt something hard while I was chewing. I opened my mouth to spit out the chocolate and discovered my metal filling. I immediately threw the chocolate away and started stressing about my tooth.
You see, I am PETRIFIED of the dentist! I have had so many bad experiences at that dentist, that it would take too long to explain. So now, I knew I had to go! I first called my stepdad to get an antibiotic for any infection I might have or incur while missing this filling! I couldn't get in with the dentist until Tuesday.

So my appointment time was 3 and I was on my own! Can I just say I hate the way dentist office smell, it makes me sick to my stomach. So I am sitting there filling out by book of paper work and they call me back. As I am walking back I start to choke up! I get seated in the chair and the nurse can tell I am nervous, because she asked if I always sit on my hands.

She takes the pictures and I see the mess of my tooth on a computer screen right before my eyes. I again feel sick! All I hear is the guy next me on the other side of the small wall getting drilled on! That sound is AWFUL!
The dentist I chose is quite a drive for me, but we know him through our children's dentist, who we are friends with. My dentist was Fred Flintstone at our friend's halloween party! So he comes in a of course looks totally different than what I remember him looking like!

He told me that he would try to replace the filling, but didn't know if I need a route canal. He went ahead an numbed me and left the room. As I am sitting there I start freaking out.... I mean really going crazy with my thoughts and fears. Finally, I just said to myself "YOU ARE GONNA GET A GRIP AND PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND DO THIS". You see I had no choice, I had to get it fixed. Freaking out was not helping, it was only making it worse. So I prayed and asked God to calm me down.

I took and deep breath and he came back in the room and started to work on my filling. He said that I conveniently did the majority of the work for him by losing the filling. He filled it and the procedure was down in 15 minutes.

You see I stressed all weekend and a lot that day on Tuesday about going and when it came right down to it, it wasn't as bad as I envisioned it to be. I knew it needed to be fixed yet wrestled with wanting and having to have it taken care of.

Finally, with all behind me, I realize God saying to me, once again, I told you to trust and believe that I would take care of this, even the smallest thing as a tooth. How often do I know I need to fix something but put it off because of it hard to do.....when in reality when I fix it or just complete the task, it feels so much better.

And that is one more way of conquering my fears..........with my big girl panties on!

SERVING OTHERS

I have no problem serving others in my life. Where my problem lies is going out of my bubble and serving those in a rougher community. You see its not the people I am scared of, it's having to drive in that part of town and worrying if I will be safe. You see it's so easy to serve in my comfort zone, like my church or my neighborhood, but you take me out of that and I start getting a funny feeling in my stomach.

Since, I have started this blog and I have purposely tried to find ways or things out of my "comfort zone" to do. Todd and I have been trying to teach our children how fortunate they are to have a home and food on the table, I felt they were not getting it. So with that I called my friend Pam who serves at the Freedom House, a homeless shelter, every month. She said there was room for our family to come down and serve them dinner. So I made some rice krispie treats for the people and off we went.

As we arrived, I started feeling nervous about what we would see and how the people would respond to us. We pulled up in a rough part of town and waited at their back door for them to let us in. As we were heading up the stairs, the people were lined up the stairs so happy to see us. I almost started crying right when I got there.
Our family and other families there served them dinner and then went and sat and talked with them. My children went on their own to their tables and sat down and held conversations with these people. I was fighting tears, all the while knowing the people were loving interacting with them.

I noticed a lady sitting alone, so I got up the nerve to go sit and talk with her. I couldn't hide behind my kids or my husband, it was just me and her. She was a sweet lady who had a wonderful job and when the economy collapsed she lost her job and everything else that went with it. She was depressed and lonely and I sat there and shared my heart and story with her and let her know that we had a lot more in common than she could imagine. She loves the Lord and so do I and we just started encouraging one another. Women encouraging women, even from totally different walks of life. You see it didn't matter, we just bonded over our trials big and small.

I didn't want the night to end. Our children loved it, we loved it, and can't wait to return next month. By being there, I saw so many familiar situations that are in my community, just different faces. What sweet sweet people, and I think I got a glimpse of what heaven will be like, having all our "bubbles" collide to create something beautiful!