Wow, how the Summer has flown by.....

I feel like the kids just got off the school bus with excitement for last day of school and now we are preparing to head back! I had so many plans this summer and I just feel that some happened and others did not!

I always have the goal to organize the entire house and it never ends up happening. We had so much fun going to the pool, staying up late watching movies and traveling that it did not seem like a huge priority to me. I figured it would wait for me!

As we traveled quite a bit this summer I felt I was slowly losing my fears that I normally would have. We went to St. John and that requires riding a plane to St. Thomas and then taking a tiny boat that the max people to fit on the boat was 55 with the man telling us to "make ourselves smaller" to fit another 55 on the boat for a 40 minute ride to the island. I just sat there and prayed that first we would not sink and second that I would be able to grab my children and learn to swim a good mile or two to get to land. We made it to shore and had a wonderful time thanks to our neighbors that we went with and their timeshare that they so graciously shared with us for the week.

So I wanted to update my blog and let you know how my year without fear is going....so here it is in a nutshell..... elevators, no big deal anymore, planes....still not a huge fan but no panicking when the plane is taking off and I am having a stare down contest with the stewardess trying to read her face for a trouble sign! Being alone....this was a big one for me and now I feel I sometimes prefer to be by myself, especially when I am venturing out in a new city to find a target :). Fear of failing at things....not so much a problem anymore, if I fail I like trying to figure out a way to make it work instead. Fear of speaking to people I don't know.....now I try to go out of my way to find people and know their story...in January starts a new blog for this one!

I even took a new job at a new school where I only really knew one sweet friend before I entered the door. As I was anxious about this job, God kept telling me to trust Him and things have come together so easily. I feel now that my life is so much more free to not worry or stress and I can be myself.

As the summer comes to a close I have some new goals for the upcoming school year.....

- To not take on more volunteer jobs than I can possibly juggle.

- To really make my husband and kids a top priority and not let other things that I think are worthy things to do get in the way.

- To give 110% of myself in the things that I do commit to.

- To memorize scripture and lots of it.

- To stop and enjoy the moments in life and don't rush through everything!

As I look at the picture above I think how God created this world for us to enjoy and yet sometimes we let life happen around us and not take the time to notice what is truly around us.

-

A REMARKABLE MAN!

Lawrence Sidney Eagleburger

1930 - 2011

My husband and I had the great honor and privilege to attend Mr. Eagleburger's Memorial Service yesterday at Arlington Cemetery. Todd has been serving as Mr. Eagleburger's tailor for the past 9 years. So we would not have missed being there but felt grateful to be included by his sons. I can't say I have ever been to a funeral with so many dignitaries in the room.

What an honor to reach at the end of your life with people from both sides of the aisle (Republicans and Democrats) coming out to say what a wonderful man you are and how well you served your country. You see what I heard was that Mr. Eagleburger loved this country so much and served it well by his actions. What I saw was how everyone respected his opinions and thoughts and wanted to know what he was thinking about what was going on in our world today.

You see, when Todd would drive to Charlottesville to meet with him, he would stay and chat with Mr. Eagleburger and his wife about life and things that were going in our life. It was only last June in 2010 that Mrs. Eagleburger suffered a heart attack suddenly and died. That was a hard funeral to attend in watching Mr. Eagleburger honor his wife with his words of affection.

But yesterday, he was honored, with other peoples words of affection for him. As I sat there and watched Ted Koppel, Colin Powell enter the church and listen to James A. Baker, III, Henry Kissinger, Robert Gates and Hilary Clinton talk of how he made such an impact on our world it amazed me to have a small part of this man in our lives.

You see, Todd always had a funny little story to tell me about his visits with Mr. Eagleburger and on the Saturday morning that his sons Drew and Jason called Todd to let him know that he had passed we just sat there with tears in our eyes and heaviness in our hearts.

It is sad to see the great men of history die. It is hard to see men that served and protected our country as I was a child die or grow old. I know that happens with time, but you almost wish you could bottle their wisdom so you can pass it down to the next generation.

I will always remember him, what an impact he made on our lives. He was always in Todd's corner, routing for him, encouraging him to press on.

On the back of the program was a saying that even he said to Hilary Clinton when she called to get advice from him about taking the position of Secretary of State. This saying describes Mr. Eagleburger's personality and his thought process. A saying to not forget....

"As you travel on through life my friend, whatever be your goal. Keep your eye upon the donut...and not upon the hole."

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT SUMMER!

I can't wait for the kids to get out of school and summer to begin! I am counting down the days (10 more to go)....here is why I love SUMMER!

- Sleeping past 6:30 AM!

- NO HOMEWORK!!!!!! (Funny how I am not in school and I'm still happy about no homework)

- Going to the neighborhood pool and the kids playing with all their school friends and I get to chat with all my friends!

- Reading lots of books! I love a good book and mostly in the summer I read fiction and just get caught up in the characters.

- Going to the beach. I love to go with my husband to VA Beach during the week, he likes to surf and we sit and watch. I could live there!

- Getting ice cream at night with friends or my neighbors! We love Gelati Celesti!

- Wearing flip flops and sundresses!

- Going to the library with my children. I love it, but they do not like their mama making them pick out books and read for 30 minutes each day.

- Visiting NYC with my husband for his business trip. It's work but we add one day of fun in!

- Pedicures and Manicures all summer long.

- Grilling out! I love the smell of meat on grill and veggies in the steamer.

- Fresh fruit especially peaches that when you bite into them the juice runs down your mouth.

- The smell of suntan oil!

- The cool air-condition in the house when you come in from outside.

- Seeing family and friends that live out of town.

- Busch Gardens and Water Country season passes!

- Wearing white pants and white capris. I am one of those who only wears it after Memorial Day and stop wearing it after Labor Day. (I know old school)

- Movie night with my kids during the week! I do not watch much TV during the school year but when school is out we watch lots of movies.

- Watching BIG BROTHER! I know trash, but I am addicted!

In addition to all those this summer brings new things to love.....

- Going on a girls road trip to Ohio for a ThirtyOne Conference!

- Planning my 35th Birthday Party at this place! And inviting all the important people in my life!

- Getting to spend 5 days with my sweet little niece!

- Home Renovations!

So bring on the sunshine and unsweetened tea! I am anxiously waiting!

OUR NEWEST MEMBER OF OUR FAMILY!

Recently at our church we have been focusing on missions. This past Sunday they had a table set up with all these pictures and info on children in different countries that you could sponsor. I was so excited to pick out a child, but before I got to the table Todd had one already in his hand.

You see when I was a little girl I would save all my change that I would earn or find and then one day I gave it to my mom to ask her to buy the little girl on the TV that Sally Struthers was in the commercial with. I really wanted to adopt!

Well, adoption is not on Todd's heart so this is a way we can compromise. There is is a ministry called Compassion. You can select a child and for $38 a month you are supporting this child. What a great way to help children. You get to write to them and send pictures even cards for birthdays and they will write back to you.

Our child's name is Inoussa and he is 7 years old. His pictures are so sweet. I so wish I could bring him to our home. I know that our money each month may not be a large amount in the states, but it is providing him with many opportunities in his country.

We as a family are able to pray for him by name and look at his picture. We have an extension in our family and in our hearts. I feel I love this little boy and I haven't even met him. The best is that he will know that a family in America loves and cares for him, and sometimes that is all people need to survive.

One day we will meet him if not on this earth, and what a great reunion that will be!

CUTTING THE FAT!

So I have decided to cut the "fat" from my life. You say, what does that look like? Well, for starters, I took myself off of Facebook about 4 weeks ago. I felt it was such a time sucker in my life and then I would be so in to what everyone else was saying or doing that I was forgetting that I had a life that already had enough going on and I didn't need to add anymore emotion to it.

You see, I enjoy catching up with old friends or even friends that don't live close to me. I love seeing pictures of their families or places that they have visited, but it all just was not contributing to my family or my work. It was a plain waste of my time during the day!

I decided that I was going to use my time, you know the time that flies by each day, wisely! I have been feeling like I should give up Facebook for quite some time, but couldn't release it. Kinda of like when you know you need to work out, but you keep eating bad stuff anyways.

So, off with the "fat" in my life!

I do feel somewhat "out of the loop" but I am surviving.... here is what I have been doing without sitting in front of my laptop reading everyones status updates.

- All my laundry is caught up!

- My house has stayed clean or neat more!

- My day runs a lot smoother.

- I have had more time to spend talking to my children, imagine that!

- I have read more books.

- I have a quiet lunches with me and my thoughts and talking to God about my day!

The list goes on.......

I guess the point is that I was filling my time with unnecessary things and information in my life and I need to cut back. Sometimes, it's good to take a time out!

Another way, I am cutting "the fat" is just trying to pull back on activities that I or my children are involved in. I really feel we run all the time. Sometimes we literally walk in the door only to drop our things and pick up things for the next event. I really want to enjoy my kids because they are growing so fast, and running constantly is making time fly by way too quickly!

I am so bad at over committing me or my family to things, but I am learning as I am aging that I just can't keep up. I would love to do everything and have my kids doing all the sports and school activities, but now we are picking and choosing what is best for our family and learning that family time is most important!

I am looking forward to summer to have good quality family time with little running around and being on a schedule, oh I can't wait!

Maybe I can cut some "real fat" out of my life by taking lots more bike rides and family walks/runs.

GOD'S REASSURANCE TO ME!

Exactly one year ago I lost my dad unexpectedly. He was only 53 years old and I never intended for him to die when I dropped him off at the hospital the day before. You see the surgery was just to go in and clean up the infection that was still in his body from his first surgery 3 weeks prior. I could tell driving my dad over to the hospital that he was nervous, but he was not feeling well, and just wanted to feel better quickly. As I reassured him that he would be fine, I got him checked in and went home to take care of my children.

He went into surgery around 9 the next morning, as we waited and waited, a two hour surgery turned into a 7.5 hour surgery. When the doctor came out to tell me that my dad was not out of the woods and that he would have a long way to go. I cried and pleaded with God to not take my dad! I made many promises to the Lord, sort of like deals with God. As I called my brother to tell him to come down from PA, crying in the hospital waiting room. My brother said he was going to finish up work and leave. As I packed up my children at 7pm to go home for baths and bedtime, I was upset leaving my dad at the hospital. Around 9 I received a phone call from the nurse to tell me that my dad was doing well! My brother arrived at midnight. We went to bed exhausted!

Around 3 am my cell phone was ringing.....never a good sign! As I made my husband answer it, because I was too scared! He heard the news we were dreading...my dad had passed away. As I walked downstairs to where my brother lay asleep, I woke him up with the sad news.

We got dressed and went to the hospital to see my dad's body. That was a really hard thing to do, I felt like I was going to pass out as well as throw up all over the place. But when I walked into his room, there was a strange peace that hovered our room. It wasn't the way my dad looked because he really did not look that well, but it was a calming over my body.

Maybe I was in shock, or disbelief that just a few short hours earlier the nurse had phoned and said he was doing well.

As we planned for my dad's funeral, I was making decisions that I never thought I would be doing at 33. But I still felt the presences of the Lord with me and a calmness that I could muster up the courage to make those plans.

He's memorial service was held on May 1st, 2010.

Father's Day 2010 was a hard one for me. I cried all weekend! As I sat on my deck crying, this little tiny yellow butterfly landed on the arm of my chair. Now, if you know me, I do not like bugs of any kind. So instead of standing up and walking away, I just sat there and watched it. It stayed for about 5 minutes. So about a week later, as I was driving, I was crying again and came to a stop light, as I am sitting there waiting for the light to turn green a yellow butterfly flies across my windshield. I started seeing yellow butterflies every time I was upset that following month. When I went to visit my mother, she has a beautiful water fall in her backyard. As I was pointing out what flowers I loved that she planted around the waterfall, I noticed there was a yellow butterfly sitting on the flowers I was describing. So it hit me, I told my family that I think my dad came back as a yellow butterfly.........

Just kidding..... I do not believe in reincarnation. But what I was seeing was God reassuring me that I was going to be okay and that my dad was okay. That I needed to know that God was in total control of the situation and this was HIS plan for my dad's life. April 29, 2010 was my dad's day to come home to his final resting place with his heavenly father.

So, fast forward exactly 5 months, and I receive the news that my brother, who was 33, committed suicide. How I really questioned why? Domenic and I just buried our father and had to make all those difficult decisions and we were so very sad. I could not understand why he did this to me or to my mom. But what we did not understand was that he was very ill mentally and I believe my dad's death just really put him over the edge.

While we were at my brother's grave site for his funeral there was a yellow butterfly sitting on his casket the entire time of the funeral. Again, God telling me to trust Him, He was going to take care of me and pull me through this. As we were leaving the grave and driving away, there were two yellow butterflies that pass our windshield and with that I knew my brother had found peace!

This does not help make these loses any easier, it just gives me the reassurance that when I see a yellow butterfly that God is in control and He is just telling me to rely on Him for peace. You see God used something so small and tender and something that I do not like to be around, something I am scared of and run from to present Himself to me to let me know that He is present in my misery. So when I see a yellow butterfly now, I am reassured that my God loves me and is with me at all times, I just have to be still and notice His presence.

I really miss my dad and brother, I feel my family was cut in half, but I have learned from them and celebrate their lives for what they contributed to my life. My brother left behind a sweet little girl who I adore and my dad instilled in me a new way to look at those around me, instead of judging them for the looks or actions, rather see where I can help them or love them. For that I am grateful that I was part of their family!

Domenic A. Forlano, Sr. 1956-2010

Domenic A. Forlano, Jr. 1977 - 2010

"The Lord will watch over your coming and going both

now and forevermore"

Psalm 121:8

LEARNING TO ENJOY THE RIDE!

This past week we have had to leave our house and stay at a hotel, because our hot water heater flooded our laundry room and kitchen. I know what you are thinking, how lucky are you! But really after the second night, and waking up at 6 every morning to get children to school on time and sharing a square room with three other people, it's not as exciting anymore!

Remember when I started my blog, I stated that I really did not care for elevators, well, we are on the 6th floor, so guess who has to ride an elevator everyday, sometimes two and three times a day? Yes, I did not like my start of the week. After the second day, I have just had to suck it up!

You see, I have had to laugh once again at God's sense of humor. I stated that I was scared of elevators and part of this blog was that I was going to conquer my fears, well, I feel this week I have been made to conquer that fear!

You see, when I think about it sometimes I don't care for the "life ride" I am in or experiencing. But I know I am not in control of the situation or the problem I am facing, yet it is hard to see the outcome. I know God is the ultimate controller of my life and problems that I may be facing. He is driving "my ride" not me!

I may be pushing the buttons on "my ride" but He is the one that brings it to rest and works out the details! I love when He shows up in the big and small things in my life!

"But blessed is the man who trust me, God,

the woman who sticks with God."

Jeremiah 17:7 (message)

REALLY MISSING HIM!

Here, lately, I have been really missing my dad! I was driving this morning and had to go into his old neighborhood to drop something off to a friend who lived in his neighborhood and just started crying. Thinking of the last time I picked him up to drop him off at the hospital and him not wanting to back to the hospital, but knowing he had to go. As I picked him up he spilled his juice that he was having with his lunch and I cleaned it up and then grabbed his suitcase and took it to the car. Not knowing that our ride together would be the last!

My dad was always there for anyone who needed him! He LOVED people! No, he was not perfect and he messed up in life quite often, but he would get back up with a smile on his face. The best part about my dad is he NEVER judged anyone! He took people at face value and loved them in spite of their faults or differences. I have tried to adapt that to my life, not that I walk around judging those around me, but I may see someone who is different than me, and I have learned to embrace that, and get to know them for who they are.

As I heard the song playing the other night in a restaurant, I just started crying. You see my dad LOVED James Taylor! I grew up listening to every song out there by this artist. As a kid I hated it, but this song in particular seems to capture my dad's motto in life. Its funny and sad listening to it now, because I wish he was around to talk to or laugh with. He had a great sense of humor! (see the song below)

So, today at THRIVE (our church's bible study) I sat there listening to sweet Marji talk about how God allows us to go through things sometimes that we do not understand while we are going through it, HE is working through it and bringing us into HIS plan. You see, I do not understand why my dad and my brother had to die, but I know God is working in my life and drawing me closer and closer to HIM.



Oh would I wouldn't give to sit on my daddy's lap again or just pick up the phone and call him or have him over for dinner. But I know he is having the time of his life and God's plan for my life is still in full swing! So I will keep his memory alive by loving others and not being so quick to judge!

WEARING MY BIG GIRL PANTIES!

I first must say I took myself off of sugar starting Valentine's Day, not a smart time to do so, I might add. Well, the kids received their Valentine's package from Todd's grandmother. Inside the package was a little box of Russell Stover chocolates. They were staring at me ALL week!!!

So finally on Friday I treated myself to one chocolate with caramel inside! I figured I deserved it for my well behavior all week. So as I was eating this little treat I felt something hard while I was chewing. I opened my mouth to spit out the chocolate and discovered my metal filling. I immediately threw the chocolate away and started stressing about my tooth.
You see, I am PETRIFIED of the dentist! I have had so many bad experiences at that dentist, that it would take too long to explain. So now, I knew I had to go! I first called my stepdad to get an antibiotic for any infection I might have or incur while missing this filling! I couldn't get in with the dentist until Tuesday.

So my appointment time was 3 and I was on my own! Can I just say I hate the way dentist office smell, it makes me sick to my stomach. So I am sitting there filling out by book of paper work and they call me back. As I am walking back I start to choke up! I get seated in the chair and the nurse can tell I am nervous, because she asked if I always sit on my hands.

She takes the pictures and I see the mess of my tooth on a computer screen right before my eyes. I again feel sick! All I hear is the guy next me on the other side of the small wall getting drilled on! That sound is AWFUL!
The dentist I chose is quite a drive for me, but we know him through our children's dentist, who we are friends with. My dentist was Fred Flintstone at our friend's halloween party! So he comes in a of course looks totally different than what I remember him looking like!

He told me that he would try to replace the filling, but didn't know if I need a route canal. He went ahead an numbed me and left the room. As I am sitting there I start freaking out.... I mean really going crazy with my thoughts and fears. Finally, I just said to myself "YOU ARE GONNA GET A GRIP AND PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND DO THIS". You see I had no choice, I had to get it fixed. Freaking out was not helping, it was only making it worse. So I prayed and asked God to calm me down.

I took and deep breath and he came back in the room and started to work on my filling. He said that I conveniently did the majority of the work for him by losing the filling. He filled it and the procedure was down in 15 minutes.

You see I stressed all weekend and a lot that day on Tuesday about going and when it came right down to it, it wasn't as bad as I envisioned it to be. I knew it needed to be fixed yet wrestled with wanting and having to have it taken care of.

Finally, with all behind me, I realize God saying to me, once again, I told you to trust and believe that I would take care of this, even the smallest thing as a tooth. How often do I know I need to fix something but put it off because of it hard to do.....when in reality when I fix it or just complete the task, it feels so much better.

And that is one more way of conquering my fears..........with my big girl panties on!

SERVING OTHERS

I have no problem serving others in my life. Where my problem lies is going out of my bubble and serving those in a rougher community. You see its not the people I am scared of, it's having to drive in that part of town and worrying if I will be safe. You see it's so easy to serve in my comfort zone, like my church or my neighborhood, but you take me out of that and I start getting a funny feeling in my stomach.

Since, I have started this blog and I have purposely tried to find ways or things out of my "comfort zone" to do. Todd and I have been trying to teach our children how fortunate they are to have a home and food on the table, I felt they were not getting it. So with that I called my friend Pam who serves at the Freedom House, a homeless shelter, every month. She said there was room for our family to come down and serve them dinner. So I made some rice krispie treats for the people and off we went.

As we arrived, I started feeling nervous about what we would see and how the people would respond to us. We pulled up in a rough part of town and waited at their back door for them to let us in. As we were heading up the stairs, the people were lined up the stairs so happy to see us. I almost started crying right when I got there.
Our family and other families there served them dinner and then went and sat and talked with them. My children went on their own to their tables and sat down and held conversations with these people. I was fighting tears, all the while knowing the people were loving interacting with them.

I noticed a lady sitting alone, so I got up the nerve to go sit and talk with her. I couldn't hide behind my kids or my husband, it was just me and her. She was a sweet lady who had a wonderful job and when the economy collapsed she lost her job and everything else that went with it. She was depressed and lonely and I sat there and shared my heart and story with her and let her know that we had a lot more in common than she could imagine. She loves the Lord and so do I and we just started encouraging one another. Women encouraging women, even from totally different walks of life. You see it didn't matter, we just bonded over our trials big and small.

I didn't want the night to end. Our children loved it, we loved it, and can't wait to return next month. By being there, I saw so many familiar situations that are in my community, just different faces. What sweet sweet people, and I think I got a glimpse of what heaven will be like, having all our "bubbles" collide to create something beautiful!

Check out 21 Day Challenge

Check out 21 Day Challenge

HAPPY HEART DAY!

Here are some of the things that I love.......
*date nights with my man
*chats and shopping with Madde
*snuggle time with Harrison
*coffee right when I wake up
*a good book and my new Kindle
*have I mentioned Chipotle?
*my neighbors....
*my friends, the comfy ones and ones that will become comfy...
*my red frye boots
*purses in the past I would "COACH" now I would definitely choose 31 ;)
*unsweetened tea with lots and lots of lemon!
*peanut butter and chocolate together, yum!
*finding a bible verse that jumps out at me and sticks with me for a week or so....
*a good pedicure
*target....I always tell Todd when I die, just put me in a shopping cart and wheel me around one last time.
*watching people be blessed.....I cry every time!

And here are some the things l am learning to love.....
*exercise...need I say more
*eating properly
*coffee without sugar.....
*not eating at Chipotle 3 times in one week
*making dinner every night.....
*keeping up with my laundry
*hour long cycle classes...
*in all the "hurriedness" of life stopping for a minute to breath and reassess..

"Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil, hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle." Romans 12:9-10 (the Message)

LETTING GO....

As Madde is getting older, it is seriously getting harder to let go of her. She wants to go and do things and I know that this is normal for her age and I did these same things at my age but I worry that something will happen to her. I feel my "first born" is truly my guinea pig. I have tested her out on different things and if I mess up I know to do it differently with Harrison.
Madde is EVERYTHING I am not. She is daring and willing to go anywhere, and doesn't even care if she has a friend going or not. I have to have all my ducks in a row and friends lined up in order to go anywhere! I am proud of her adventurous spirit and sometimes envy it a little. For instance, this past summer, she just came out of 5th grade and immediately wanted to go to the Middle School Camp with our church. She knew NO ONE! I was so worried for her, but she jumped off the bus a week later all smiles!

As she is growing, it has been a challenge at times to steer her innocence in the right direction. She had her first school dance and while I knew in my mind that the boys would be on one side of the room while the girls were on the other, I still prayed that she would not notice the girls and boys that weren't on their opposite sides of the room.
As she laid out her outfit the week prior to the dance, she was all smiles heading out, let's just say dad was not feeling the same way letting her go....

As parents there is no manual to guide and protect your children, you do by trial and error and pray that you are not messing up too badly. What I worry and pray about sometimes never comes about in her life, yet other things arise that I didn't even think of. I want to point her constantly in the right direction, yet feel sometimes I mess up big with her by my attitude or reactions to her. That's when I am reminded of God's grace and guidance with me....and I breathe a sigh of relief!
There are so many things I want for my daughter, but more importantly while I am letting her go, I want her to love Jesus and be HIS girl!

LOVE LIKE IT'S ALL THAT WE KNOW!

While Madde was cleaning her room today, she was listening to music and this song from Selena Gomez came on. I stopped what I was doing and listened. I love the lines "Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's all that we know." You see I have been reading for two months now the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I normally do not take 2 months to read a book, but I have had to keep going back and reread the chapters over. There is so much to take in, that I have to pause in between chapters to let it soak in.

Here is what has left me thinking all weekend while reading this book. Francis writes.....
"But Paul writes that even if "I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing" (1 Cor. 13:2-3) Wow. Those are strong and unmistakable words. According to God, we are here to love. Not much else really matters. So God assesses our lives based on how we love."

I can easily love my family and friends, but it is so hard to love strangers or people that are against me. I can walk by someone in a store and feel sorry for them and that is as far as it goes. I pray for those people that do not like me but I can't say I show them "love" that is a hard one. Or my heart might be in the right place, but my fear won't allow me to approach them to talk to them or help them.

Here is what God says love is...

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends....faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13

Well, after reading those verses, I can't even say I love my family and friends like I really should. I keep reminding myself each day that tomorrow is never promised and I must do my very best today, but life gets in the way and things get hard and some days get out of control. But I love that HIS MERCIES ARE NEW EACH MORNING and when I wake up I get to start over.

So now I look at LOVE a little different these days! But what if we truly loved each other the way God intended us to? This world would be a much nicer place to dewell. In realizing that I don't get a "do over" of the previous day, I do get another day to "do better" and love others the way I really should.

So, if you haven't read Crazy Love by Francis Chan, I highly recommend it!

FABULOUS FRIDAYS!

Here are my blessings for this week!
- Going into the gym on Monday morning was hard, knowing that at the same time Rebecca was pulling out of town with her big moving truck and family. When I got there I went to my friend Shelle's cycle class and as I stood outside waiting for it to start, my sweet and encouraging friend Sally walks up! God knew I needed her that morning to just be there! I bike 19 miles and did not pass out!

My sweet Father-in-Law! He was working in Northern Virginia at a job and Todd has been struggling to figure out our sink problem for 3 days and my Father-in-Law, just said I'll be there in a couple of hours. He came and fixed it and had dinner with us, it is always nice having time with him.

This week has felt like I have been struggling to get my business up and running and then I had sweet family and friends that are willing to help me no matter what. I booked more shows and friends from out of town wanting to help with catalog shows! I had one friend send an email to all of her friends telling about my business. Wow! I am blessed and I know God will continue to bless!
And last but certainly not least.....

My sweet man! He continues to bless me! Since I have been having some off days, he has helped more around the house with the kids and just taking care of me! Todd is so nurturing to me and helping me get out of this rut, without rushing me, just waiting patiently! I even get a FREE date night with him tonight! Madde has youth group and Harrison is going to a sleepover, so a client of Todd's gave him $150 to Ruth Chris (which I have never been), so we are off! I'm so excited!
I love to focus more on my blessings than what is lost, I feel it helps me appreciate what I do have and live a little differently.

Never Let Go, David Crowder Band

These past weeks have been somewhat difficult for me. You know when you find strength to share your heart with others and became raw so that God can use you, that is sometimes when you get attacked the most with life's difficulties. I keep hearing this song on the radio and after hearing it for fourth time this week, I figured it out. (it takes me awhile!). I know God is constantly reminding me that He is there to help me through this, just keep trusting in Him. Sometimes, I feel I am drowning in my own problems and then I hear of other people's problems or situations and I am grateful that "this" is all I am dealing with. Life is not always easy, but I am however, grateful that I have reminders like this song to let me know that I don't have to do this alone!

When I Look At You, Miley Cyrus Music Video - THE LAST SONG - Available ...

So, Madde wanted me to see this movie The Last Song tonight. I think I am the last person to see this movie. Little did I know that I probably should not have watched it, this soon after my dad has passed. The ugly cry came out tonight! At the end of the movie this song played and I loved it and wanted to share it! It makes me think of God and keeping my eyes focused on Him and what lies ahead not in my past. So enjoy it.....

FABULOUS FRIDAYS!

Since Friday is my FAVORITE day of the week, I decided to look back on the week and find little blessings that God presented during the week! So here are this week's blessings:

-My Mother-in-law gave me a rug that she was not using anymore and it fits perfect in my kitchen!
-I got to catch up with a group of Ladies on Tuesday night for dinner and met a new friend.
- I signed on with THIRTY-ONE and I am so excited about the new Spring/Summer line and all the products!
- My neighbors who continue to bless our lives! I LOVE LINSEY LAKES SOCIAL CLUB!
- My ladies at my THRIVE table bless me each week, with their encouragement and prayer.
-This morning I had a great breakfast with my Springfield Park PTA ladies (that also go to HOPE) and got to know someone else who I have been wanting to get to know better!

Can I just say God is so good me! He keeps placing the right people in my life when He feels I am ready for it, not when I feel I am ready for it!


From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another.
John 1:16 (NIV)

SAYING GOODBYE IS NEVER EASY

I present you to you my Richmond "Security Blanket" Friend, Rebecca! When I first moved here, I moved from Roanoke, and all we heard leaving Roanoke, was that we were going to "murder capital". So I was petrified! Rebecca and her family moved here shortly after we did, and we met on their first Sunday as our children's pastor. We invited them over for dinner and then she kept calling me every day wanting to do something, like go out in the murder capital and explore. Little did I know that I would have so much fun with this girl! She is quick wit but gives such sound advice, with no overreaction!

Our friendship has grown over the past 6 years, with all that we have been through with each other. From raising our children, to working in women's ministry together, to cleaning apartments, to working out at the gym and Rebecca losing over 60 pounds, to middle school, jobs successes and losses, to deaths. Being there for each other!

Well, to top off my 2010 year, Rebecca and her husband Alan accepted a job in Frisco, TX as the children's pastor at Hope. You see, I had been praying that God would allow her husband to become a pastor at my church also called Hope. Apparently, I was not specific enough with God!

She has been my "security blanket" who I have held on so tight to. I have been so upset about her moving, yet I get what God is saying to me, "Let me be your security blanket". Saying goodbye is so hard, but I know that this is God's plan for their lives and mine too.

I believe God gives you friends or people in your lives for a season, and I have had to say goodbye to many friends in my past that were just there for a season. But I believe we are to glean from each other, strengths and weaknesses. I can say Rebecca has made me a stronger person, a little more thick skinned. She is one of those friends that stick with you for a lifetime!

I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to be called her friend!

WHAT WOULD YOU ATTEMPT TO DO IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD NOT FAIL?

One of the ways I am facing my fears is going into direct selling! I do not like to pressure anyone to buy anything, but when I believe in a product and love it, I want to share it with everyone! I have been purchasing Thirty-one products for over a year now and each time I was approached to sell I would turn that person down or make a joke. You see I did not have the confidence in myself to do this. Why is that we think so little of ourselves, but build up others around us?
With my new outlook on 2011, I figured there were no more excuses or reasons, I needed to just do it. So here, I am placing myself out there but determined more than ever to not fail at this or let people or opinions get me down. I have huge goals and lots of will power so look out!
The thing I am most excited about Thirty-one is that this is all my own. I can determine how much, or how hard I am going to work. Sure, I will hate when people tell me "no", but that just means, I need to continue to look for a "YES"!
So....if you would love to learn more about Thirty-one, or would like to host a show, or catalog show, please let me know!

II Timothy 1:7 "For God didn't give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control."

A New Season In My Life

So here I go again into the blogging world, only this time it will be a lot different! You see what a year 2010 was for me personally and I feel I have to accept my new "normal" in my life. My new "normal" consists of having to accept that my dad and brother are no longer apart of this world but with their heavenly father. Oh, I am happy for them but very sad for myself that they are not around to talk to or laugh with or share ideas and dreams and everyday occurrences with. I feel I have taken people for granted in the past, and now know to cherish the moments that I am given and tell people what they mean to me when I am thinking about it instead of waiting until the next time. I feel lately there has been so much piling up on plate that it is sometimes so hard to see past the mess to what God is weaving into my life, by allowing Him to have full control.
The title of my blog is what I want this year to look like for me! I believe God has been telling me this for years, yet I refuse to listen. Let me just put it to you this way..... I AM SCARED OF JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING! Here are some of the things that terrify me. Planes, I HATE to fly and feel so envious of my friends that can just get on a plane and go anywhere. Elevators, I can't stand elevators because I am so scared of getting stuck and not being able to get out. The list goes on and on, but those have to be at the top. Those fears may not be great to you, but I think about doing something or going somewhere if I have to use either one of those things. So this year I have decided that I am going to face my fears head on and have God take the reins, not me!
I feel if I blog about not living in fear, I can look back and see how far I will hopefully have come. So if you want you can come along for the ride and pray for me as I conquer these strongholds in my life.

In Isaiah 43:1-4 (MSG) it says "Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end - Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you...! THAT's how much you mean to me! THAT's how much I love you!

You know I have two sets of eyes on me at all times, and my children need to see that their mom can do anything because I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and will not leave me, even when I am scared.
The one thing I can say I have learned from my dad and brother's death is that I am NO LONGER scared of death! I have had to face it and although it is hard and will continue to be hard to accept, I know it's not the end, it is only a new beginning!